HISTORY OF THE FOOTER CUP
The Footer Cup is one of the greatest Cups in the history of the game of golf. It was first played by Tom and Smith in 1989 after they were fired from their first job by Sissy Van Deusen because they didn't know what a Footer was. They have since learned what a footer is, and the Cup honors Sissy for inspiring them to learn about this. Smith has won the Cup many times and is considered one of the greatest competitors in the history of the Footer Cup. A Full Footer consists of 18 holes, and a Mini Footer consists of 9 holes. To qualify as an official Footer Competition, there must be a minimum of 2 Smiths or Claytors on the field. Guests are welcome to compete for the Cup. Any missing Claytors or Smiths are permitted to lose egregiously by DNF scores of 10 on each hole as per the discretion of the players. The Footer Cup is the only golf tournament in the world that can be played simultaneously on different courses in different parts of the world.
Lest we forget... (click to peruse)
Forthcoming... the next battle.
29jun2011 - A Full International Footer was played simultaneously on two continents. Players Tony, Mom, Ben, Trey and Dub faced off against Tom and Smith in Asia. Full Footer rules applied. No Mulligans, no kicking or moving the ball. Maximum of 10 strokes per hole. Scores: Tony - 94. Tom - 103. Dub - 104. Mom - 110. Ben - 117. Trey - Undisclosed. Smith - DNF. USA team played at Sunnybrook. Tom played at Ayutthaya. Smith did not finish. Tom had an egregious final hole when he was in a good condition to birdie, he shanked and put the ball in the lake finishing with a 10 on the 18th. Dub had a sand moment with 3 strokes to get out of a trap. Ben and Dub reverted to Iron driving tactics on the back 9. Mom and Tony were a force to contend with. Dick was scheduled to play, but was not able to play. He will attempt soon.
May 2006 - Blocked Footer - An egregious action has occurred. Tom and Dub sent a supply of Nut Powder with love and intention to Uncle Dave. The shipment was intercepted by Sid and re-directed to Nud. This constitutes an "egregious action" and is duly noted by the members of the Footer Cup Committee. A new shipment of Nut Powder will be dispatched directly to Uncle D's work address in an attempt to bypass the "interceptor" and to help reactivate and invigorate Uncle D. The committee has noted the source of this egregiousness and now forgives Smith for his previous egregious activities.
15apr06 - Sunnybrook Footer Cup - Tony hosted the Footer with Dub, Dick, & Tony's friend Barney Johnson at Sunnybrook! Dub may have an unfair advantage as he is wearing his Nut Powder from Thailand. "I am sorry Tom, but we may have to give you DNF since you may not make tee off time." What would smith say??? I will miss having 3 caddies each for our golf. We'll post results later this weekend. Report posted by Dub: "A wonderful egg breakfast fortified the egregious foursome and we set out for a shotgun start on hole #8. Barney was our ringer at a score of 87. Tony was additionally handicapped by being forced to play with loaner clubs and scored a 98. Bran & Warren were successful at breaking 100, good for bowling, bad for golf. Warren landed a 103 and Bran a 108. It was noted that Warren had an advantage as he had used his Nut Powder prior to the match. After the match, instruction was given to Tony and little Sammy on how to properly apply Nut Powder. This event was documented by Sarah Claytor, see attached photos. It was noted that Tom, Cooke, Brint & Norm's invitation were not mailed in time, so they shall not be penalized with the customary DNF. Additional accounts of this event are welcomed. -Warren p.s. A big thank you for Tony for hosting this footer cup!"
10apr2006 - FOOTER NEWS FLASH - The First Email received from Smith after his many-year-vow-of-silence was broken on this day after his receipt of Tom and Dub's Nut Powder. Henceforth, this is a historic day for the Footer Cup and future competitions on this day can be referred to in a manner appropriate to it's significance ----- Original Message ---- From: Brint.Smith@marsh.com. To: firstname.lastname@example.org. Sent: Monday, April 10, 2006 10:47:53 PM. Subject: Thanks for Hat, Postcard and Nut Powder. "Tom, Many thanks for the kind gifts - cap, nut powder and Norton postcard. Smith"
22feb2006 - Dub and Tom kicked the shit out of Smith at the Footer Cup in Burma. Every one of Smith's scores was DNF. He has been left speechless by the swift and stunning victory. Dub's pneumonia is now cured, but his back is in pain from polo. Smith has issued a complaint of doping, because Dub was under the influence of various drugs during the Footer Cup to control the pain of his back. It was a glorious victory. I am worried that Dub might have malaria now, but you can sort that out when he returns to "Elsewhere."
17feb06 - In honor of Smith, who is one of the greatest competitors in the history of the Footer Cup, we are proud to bring you the latest in the Footer Cup News. Warren has been training hard for the competition. There was a Mini Footer which comprised of 9 holes. There was a Footer Gaucho Cup which was played on a 18 hole miniature golf course. Warren has been on the back of an elephant with Tom photographing him. Warren has also been offered various forms of insects to eat. Tom and Warren have been camping next to "Nud" (the jeep) who is in a various state of disrepair after the back differential went out. Tom and Dub are flying to Kanchanaburi today to look at more jeeps, to visit Tigers and to buy a new differential unit to install in "Nud." All other events are in order. Photographs are documenting the progress of the expedition. The Full Footer is planned to take place in Burma. We will fill you in on more FOOTER NEWS in due course.
Apr05 - The Fiji Footer took place in the Pacific Ocean after the call of "abandon ship" and a speedy evacuation flight to a distant island. The sea was calm and the sun was strong. Tony and Lynn were determined to hit the field hard as they teed off against Tom and Chatchaya. It was a fierce competition on an open course with a jagged rocky coastline. There wasn't really anyone on the course, but this did not thwart Tony and Mom in there determined charge to the 18th hole. Tony commanded the lead, leaving Tom a bit in the rough. Tom did attempt one difficult shot to try to catch up to Tony on the 18th hole, but alas, it landed him between "the rock and a hard place," and Tony brilliantly captured the moment for Footer History. No feeding by teammates was permitted during the competition. Splendid victory by Tony and Lynn.
circa 2003 - Smith confirms dominance - A full footer was played between Smith and Chill in Seabrooke, South Carolina. "My parents rented out a place for entire family to get together for a week. We played on a nice course at the country club there and Brint spanked me pretty soundly. He hadn't played much in awhile and yet he actually played pretty well. A few years before that, we used to get out on the course from time to time here in Seattle and I couldn't tell you who won. It was probably pretty even." Report filed by Norris Smith, Account Executive, The Green Team, Homecomings Financial - email@example.com